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Dealing with rejection



How's week 2356 of quarantine going? The news cycles and twitter verse have been very heavy recently. Many of us are engaging in more screen time than usual. Please be reminded that you don't have to be constantly engaged. Take a break if you need to. 


With everything that is going on in the world today, I started to think about why people stick to cliques, ideologies and communities. It led me to think about what occurs when we don't find a place or are constantly rejected due to something we can't change about ourselves.


Rejection is a life event that we may face at one point or the other. I know exactly how it feels to be rejected but recently I had to redefine what I meant by rejection.


Rejection is the idea of exclusion and being pushed away. We all feel like we need to belong to a community of some sort. The community differs from person to person but a sense of belonging is something we all desire. 


We were made to thrive and grow within a community, so any time we try to join a one and face rejection we experience pain.


The pain of rejection often feels as real as physical pain and makes it more likely for us to remember it. 


If encountered repeatedly over time, it can chip away at our self esteem. Essentially, we may become withdrawn and shy away from opportunities to reengage. 


So how do we deal with a common life event?


Remember you are not the summation of the rejection 

You as a person are not being rejected. It can certainly feel like it but do not accept that train of thought. Whilst the rejection may have occurred, do not let this one moment define you.


Focus on social connection

When we face rejection, feelings of instability or hurt may occur. Instead of allowing that feeling to continue, seek engagement with a group/community where you are already welcomed. This may be with your immediate family or friends. Either way, spend time with the people who already accept you as you are. 


Reiterate your qualities

In case, you haven't heard this recently, you have something very valuable to bring to a community. What you have within you is of value to someone. 


So take some time out and list your qualities, remind yourself of who you are and walk in that affirmation. 



With love,

Ruth 

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