• Ruth

Is it Valentine's already?

Ok, so Valentine's day is around the corner and 'twitterverse' is losing the plot with all the meme's. I actually realized the other day that this Valentine's will be my first one as a married woman. If I am honest, two weeks ago there was minimal excitement. On second thought, I'm going to celebrate our first moments because they won't ever come around again

Since, it's love month, I wanted to pen a few of my thoughts. I see love as a display of affection towards someone. I agree with those who describe love to be an emotion or a feeling but how can it be experienced without it being actioned?  For example, a mother who loves her children unconditionally shows it through how she cares, protects and nurtures them.

As a single person, I felt to experience love, it had to be upfront. Always in my face and constantly on display. Be it through words, gifts or even time. I can't say the same in marriage. In my short time, I've learned it's expression varies and fluctuates with each season.

Due to our proximity, I don't always feel the need to hear the words "I love you" because through my husbands actions, I know I am loved. This doesn't mean we have to be complacent with each other, however. 

This led me to think about what I wish I could say to myself during my single season if I had this foresight. 

1. I am loved and to be loved 

In other words, at every point of my life I am deserving of love and for love to be expressed in the way I desire. What I mean is, as I learn more about myself, I am permitted to share that with my significant other and even family and friends. 

2.  Love is more about displaying grace and patience than it is about focusing on ourselves

I initially thought, my husband had to focus his attention on me at all times. I assumed that my requests would be automatically met. However, that's a self serving type of love. 

Jesus displayed how we should treat one another by how he related with his disciples. He was patient in answering their questions and using different situations as teachable moments. He understood their weaknesses and chose to meet them at their level. This is such a humbling thought on what love really looks like versus what the media has portrayed it to be. (For more on this read 1 Corinthians 13) 

3. It takes time for understanding to fully develop

This is applicable in any relationship. You can know things about someone but not fully understand them. For example, I may know someone's favorite color but I may not know this was their mother's favorite color and that there is more history to this. That kind of information, takes time to find out. 

I guess I'm saying that you shouldn't pressure yourself to know every little detail and enjoy the process in getting there.

4. You can love deeply again

Coming from someone who has had their trust and love betrayed, my journey to marriage has been about letting go of the past in progressive stages. My past experience is not a footprint of how my life has to be. I am glad to be healed from my past and to be free in receiving love from a good man. 

I really hope this has been helpful in some way. I encourage anyone who has lost hope in love to try again 

Happy Valentine's 


I still have no idea what I'm doing for Valentine's weekend, send help to your girl 😂

With love,  



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